Understanding Perfectionism
It’s nearing midnight, and you’re struggling to finish a project you’ve spent countless hours on. The deadline is looming, and you haven’t submitted anything yet. It’s still not good enough. You feel the need to keep changing things. You procrastinate because none of your ideas seem good enough, and the approaching deadline only increases your anxiety…
What is perfectionism?
Perfectionism is a personality trait characterized by striving for flawlessness, setting high standards, and being overly critical of oneself. Anything that doesn’t meet these high standards is deemed unacceptable. This can apply to performance, appearance, or even the expectations we place on others.
Is perfectionism necessarily bad?
Perfectionism can be both beneficial and detrimental. High standards can drive us towards achieving our goals. However, the constant pressure for perfection can lead to decreased performance. Focusing on details can be exhausting and time-consuming. Perfectionism is often associated with black-and-white thinking—either I succeed, or I’m worthless—significant self-doubt, and fear of failure. This self-critical voice can undermine our confidence and hinder our goal achievement.
Managing Perfectionism
- Allow Yourself to Make Mistakes: Mistakes don’t have to be failures; they can be opportunities to learn something new. If something didn’t go as planned, reflect on the strengths you used to handle the situation. Challenging situations can paradoxically make us stronger and enhance our self-awareness.
- Focus on Your Strengths: What do you like about yourself? What do others appreciate about you? Even if your performance isn’t perfect, you are still a valuable person. Everyone has numerous positive qualities, even if we don’t always recognize them. Perhaps you support a friend in a tough situation, using your empathy and listening skills. Maybe you didn’t prepare for an exam, but you can improvise and adapt to different situations. It might have taken you longer to complete a task, but your patience and creativity led you to a solution.
- Manage Your Expectations: To pass a semester, we need to earn a certain number of credits and meet all the school’s requirements. Sometimes, we also face demands from family or employers. While we can’t always change external pressures, we can manage our expectations of ourselves. What performance do you need to be satisfied with yourself? Is this performance realistic given your current situation? Do you have enough time and energy for it?
- Be Kind to Yourself: No one can perform at 100% all the time. We all have imperfections, limits, and our own pace of work. Maybe the current task or project didn’t turn out as you hoped, but the experiences you gained will help you do better next time. Besides the outcome, don’t forget to appreciate the effort you put in.
- Work with Your Self-Critical Voice: Everyone has negative thoughts sometimes. Sometimes we can let them go and focus on other things, but other times they persist. Before situations where we need to perform, thoughts like “I won’t be able to do it” or “The examiner won’t like it” often run through our minds. How do we deal with such thoughts? Write the thought down and examine how true it is. What evidence supports or contradicts this thought? How does it affect your mood? What would you say to a friend who shared this thought with you? These questions can help you explore the truth of the thought and gain some distance from it.
- Set Realistic Goals: How do you formulate an achievable goal? The SMART method is often used in practice for goal setting. According to this method, a well-formulated goal should be Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Time-bound. How can you apply this method in practice? Watch the following video and try to formulate your SMART goal: https://www.coursera.org/articles/what-are-smart-goals?utm_medium=sem&utm_source=gg&utm_campaign=B2C_EMEA__coursera_FTCOF_career-academy_pmax-multiple-audiences-country-multi-set2&campaignid=20882109092&adgroupid=&device=c&keyword=&matchtype=&network=x&devicemodel=&adposition=&creativeid=&hide_mobile_promo&gad_source=2&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIqvX__s_3iQMVjlFBAh15IAEjEAEYASABEgJQj_D_BwE
Mgr. Lenka Oppová